Home Ownership & Credit Matters

The economy sucks right now but one thing is for sure, if you are able to purchase a house, now is an awesome time to do it.

My mom is a licensed real estate agent and therefore I enjoy logging in to the local multiple listing service to check out the goings on of the market.  I love looking at houses.  I love playing "let's pretend" while doing it.  Do you know the game?  It goes like this. Let's pretend I can buy any house listed on for sale between $150k and $300.  It's a fun game.  And even more fun is the Let's pretend I can buy any house listed between $300k and $500k -- which one will I buy.  And the best game: let's pretend I can buy any house listed between $500k and $900k.  Oh yeah, baby, that one is fun!! They all are.  It's the same game I play with the papers on the weekend in the real estate section.  If I could buy any house on this page, which would it be?  


I digress.  The game is all just self-infliction of emotional distress.  I often compare myself with my peers (or worse, compare myself with Suzie Orman's guests) and give myself quite the beating for it.  I do not have a savings.  I do not have a retirement.  No IRA, no 401K.  I have no investments.  No stocks and bonds.  No real estate.  I have negative assets.  Just my Sallie debt.  And my car.  Yeah, I don't own that outright either.  And by the time I do, it won't be worth much to speak of.  


I have one credit card.  Just one.  It is almost maxed out.  I pay it down and then put groceries or gas or some other necessity on it when there is no where else to turn.  I make sure to make payments though.  I don't want that going bad, too.  So there you have it.  In my name (and on my credit report) I have one credit card with a $500 limit, one vehicle, and a crap load of student debt.  Oh, and that pesky little bankruptcy I had in 2005.  


I guess my point is that I will not be purchasing a house.  Probably ever absent some significant (very significant!) change in my income.  I guess it is just difficult (bear with me, let me have my pity party) to see my friends doing it when I actually being in more money than they do.  But I have Sallie.  And the bad credit.  Which is certainly not improving with recent default.  


So forget the house, it's cool.  I remind myself that it is a good thing to rent.  No property taxes.  The repairs are (generally) not my responsibility.  It's a good thing.  And for now it really, really is.  I do believe that.  I just have my moments.  

But I would really, really like to repair my credit.  And it just isn't going to happen with defaulted Sallie loans.  


Sallie is such a bitch.  

Well, It Happened

I defaulted.  I kept them at bay this entire time and yet it finally happened.  Sallie is now only holding my Federal loans.  The private loans have all been turned over to a third party for collection.  Oh, shit.  Now what?  Sallie wouldn't tell me.  She rarely speaks the truth anyway so I suppose that doesn't even really matter. 

I got the letters in the mail from the third party yesterday.  I googled them.  People have hatred of them akin to my hate of Sallie.  I will reserve judgment until I have dealt with them. 

Hmm, what next.  Garnished wages?  Time will tell.

LIVID

It is 11:55 a.m. and I just received a call from Sallie Mae at work.

Um, hello.   NOT OK. Do not call me at work.  They aren't allowed to.  And moreover, they have been told that before. No collecting from me AT WORK.  Are you fucking kidding me?

So, per my last entry, I set up the debit for loans 13 & 14 (federal loans).  I noted at the bottom of the form the amount, the loans to credit, and the date to be debited.   Well, I got the letter from Sallie stating she will be debiting on a different date.  Um, ok. Well why did you instruct me to note a date (that was approved via phone) when you weren't going to stick to it anyway?!

So this morning one of her worker trolls who sounded a little.... um....slow, called to collect from me.  At work.  Why?  My private loans are going to default on the 29th.  They are 208 days delinquent.  Ok, but don't they default at 280 (or 270 days?).  No.  That is when federal loans default.  Private loans default at 180.  Fabulous.  Just fucking fabulous.  

Meanwhile, my other WORK phone line rings.  I put the Sallie Troll on hold and grab that line.  I go back to Sallie Troll.  I was pissed off about the default info and livid about her calling my office. So I tell her that I cannot arrange a payment right now, I am at work, that she is not permitted to call me at work, etc.  She tells me she doesn't see that noted in the file.  Well, now she's a liar, too.   She still tries to talk to me about making a payment, etc.

Me to Sallie Troll:  You are not allowed to call me at work.  It is illegal for you to try to collect from me at work.  I will make a payment when I can and call you then.

She STILL continues to try.  Well can your co-signer help you with your payment.  No. Because she is helping me with my OTHER scheduled payment at the moment.

I tell her I have to go, not to call my work number again, and hang up on her.

UGH.  

Hashing It Out With Sallie Mae

I hashed it out with Sallie.  Supposedly, I can enroll in automatic debit payments and it will bring my account current (well, loans 13 & 14 which are 283 days delinquent and subject to default).   They mentioned this before but there had to be the enrollment, plus three months of automatic debit payments to bring the account current.  I tell her this.  She said no.  Not necessary.  I could enroll, have the $200 payment taken out one time, call to cancel the enrollment, and by that time I will be ok because my loan will be current. 

Me: Really?
Sallie: Yes.
Me: Are you sure?  because that is not the way it was explained to me in the past.
Sallie: Yes.

Ok, so I faxed the papers in the same day.  Now, keep in mind this payment is only on the two loans that are 283 days delinquent, not all the loans, which is why the payment was just over $200.  And being the financial burden I continue to be to my mother, I called upon her for this payment to avoid defaulting.  I faxed the papers and called to follow-up (as suggested) to be sure they were received. 

They weren't.

So I faxed again.

Still nothing.

So I faxed to another number.

Third time's the charm!  Yes, done deal.  Noted in bold at the bottom that it is for the $200+ amount and for olny loans 13 & 14.  Not authorizing any other debits. 

I have since been called by someone saying they needed immediate call back regarding default and yesterday I received a letter in the mail (not in disguise this time) demanding payment of the entire loan in full to avoid default.  Um, yeah.  Not happening. 

So will this work?  Is Sallie playing another game with me?  Quite possibly.  Time will tell.

Where are you, Sallie?

Sallie has been WAY too quiet lately.

She's obviously up to no good.

I'm not gonna lie ... I'm scared.  I should be.

She sent me another trick envelope.  Though I spotted her work right away.

She said I had until August 31.

Tick tock, tick tock.  The time has lapsed.

Is she working on garnishing my wages as we speak?  She doesn't need a court order.

Crazy.

Check this out. http://consumerist.com/2010/09/student-loans-gateway-drug-to-debt-slavery.html.

SCARY!     Yes.  Student loans are the gateway drug to debt slavery.  That is what the article says.  Can you please the money making scheme that is?  Can you please the debtor rights that exist for nearly everyone except student loan holders.

I get it.  I really do.  Borrow money.  Pay it back.  I know.

But you know, life sometimes doesn't go the way you anticipate it to when you sign your life away for that tuition payment.  You are basically made to believe your life as you know it will end because you must meet the tuition deadline.  Your future is over if you do not.  You will not be a student, you will be booted from your classes and you are destined for a miserable, pathetic future.

Little did I know that signing on the line meant that very same thing.

I'm Not Avoiding You

Dear Sallie,

I am not avoiding you.  You know where I live.  You know which number to call and reach me.  I have received your letters.  There is no need to call my mother and ask my whereabouts.  You already know this.  And although I'm sure my grandparents out of the area appreciate receiving letters, was it really necessary to bug them.  Come on, Sallie.  Who else have you contacted?  I can see how this would embarrass someone.   But not me.  I have aired my dirty laundry.  They know all about you.  So you can stop now.  Stop the harassment and the threats.  And stop contacting my family.  Stop stalking me.  If I am going to default -- fine.  Are you going to garnish my wages?  Bring it.  Just do it.  Because I've got nothing for you.  Nada.  Zip.  No tengo dinero.

Comprende?

Thank you ever so much,
Lisa

You Got Me, Sallie.

Oh, she fooled me this time.  Ha ha ha, Sallie.  Very funny. 

Sallie is apparently under the impression that I am shredding her mail.  She's wrong.  I see her mail some in, clearly labeled, and I set it aside -- never to be opened.  I know what she has to say and I am not interested in hearing about it.
Well, last week she sent me a notice -- default warning, actually, in a small yellow envelope addressed to me in a lovely cursive.  It looked to be a greeting card.  Of course I opened it.  Ha, ha, ha, Sallie.  Joke is on me.  You got me to open something. 

But do you want to know what I did with that notice, Sallie?  I cast it aside with all of your other unopened correspondence.  I reased it the same way.  I know the status of my loans, Sallie.  Thank you ever so much for being so dilligent about calling and writing to inform me in the event I was not aware. 

Back Off, Bitch.

Dear Sallie Mae:

Do you seriously think 12 phone calls is going to make me change my mind and come up with a grip of money for you? No. Back off bitch. For real -- 12 calls? And it isn't 9pm. Next time you call I am going to actually answer and I am not going to be happy about it. And I do realize that picking up call #13 won't stop calls 14 and 15.

Forever yours (really), Lisa.

Party Prep Madness

I really, really wish I could just lay out a doormat like the one about and call it a day. I really do.

But no.  I have been in the midst of party prep madness.  Things I should have done and cleaned in the past 11 months since we moved in are just now being accomplished.  This weekend was all about the back yard.  Our "grass" area in the backyard (which was all really just green weed) was sprayed with Round Up, cut down, and covered up.  We laid the weed fabric and it is now covered by quarter inch navajo gravel (like pea gravel but navajo (sand) color as opposed to concrete color.   We have a big circle around our large tree.  The circle is large concrete brick thingies and dark bark chips are inside the circle.  Nice contrast.  We laid down ground bark/mulch on the weedy/hard dirt areas that were just ugly.  Amazing how much better dark ground covering makes things. Anyway.  It was a lot of work.  A lot of pick-axing, a lot of shoveling, etc., etc.  But it is done.

Last night I scrubbed kitchen cabinets.  Three men rented the house before us.  For 5 years or so.  Needless to say the cabinets (or anything for that matter) was never wiped down, cleaned or maintained.  The black grease stuff on the cabinets made me angry since day 1.  Finally -- I scrubbed them all down.  Even put on a restoration finish stuff.  MASSIVE improvement. But time consuming.

I now have two evenings to get the master bedroom clean, little girl's room clean, carpets shampooed, the dog washed, the bathrooms clean, the outside patio clean, hang the lights, make decorations and.... well... I am sure there is more that I am not remembering at the moment.

In other news Little-Almost-3-Year-Old-Child FINALLY went to sleep in her own bed without being told she had to and without being tucked in.  She just wanted to.  Normally she falls asleep in my lap while watching TV.  I know she is too old for that, but I like it.  I like holding her and I like looking at her face when she falls asleep and then carrying her to bed.  It is my little special time after a long day.  Ok, so it is my mommy issue more than her issue, but still.  This was an accomplishment.  She hasn't done it since, but it's a start.

Sallie Stats

Sallie is being a major bitch lately.  I am tired of them sending e-mails and calling telling me that they will work with me and there are options for my loans and repayment.  Shut up, Sallie.  There are no options.  Look at my account you dumb bitch.  

When taking a statement of my finances, I listed my tuition.  They said to apply for deferment.  So I did.  Why bother?!  I filled out the papers (for a couple of my loans that were eligible) and send them to my school.  They gave me a certification of enrollment, etc.  Well, Sallie found this to be unacceptable.  Rather, the school is unacceptable.  It is not on The List.  Ok, Sallie.  Whatever.  I give up.  

Suck It Sallie.

Accomplishments

 I was doing my usual google image search for a blog picture and I found this one above.  It ended up linking to a page about children having their own resumes.  Umm, okay.  Really?  I mean, I am sure there are plenty of kids with many honors, accomplishments, sports and other extra curricular activities under their belt (forced upon them largely by parents), but really -- a resume?  I would cringe at any resume I would have attempted as a child.  And even through college my resume would have been frighteningly light on substance.

Well, my baby is well on her way to a full resume just weeks prior to her third birthday.  Items to add to her resume at this point: (1) Successfully rid self of bottle despite many roadblocks and setbacks (it's been about 2 weeks now!); (2) Perfected the happy face which now includes, but is not limited to, noses, eyelashes, eyebrows, cheeks, ears and hair.

Impressive, right?  Can you imagine how full her resume is going to be by age 5?!  Just this morning she asked that I get her pink glitter.  I can only imagine what her next accomplishment will be.

Brilliant child.  This much I know to be true.

It's Better To Just Dive In

When the water is freezing cold, it's better not to dip your toes in and slowly torture yourself in an attempt to gain the courage to get your torso wet.  The better and less painful (?) approach when the temperatures are frigidly cold (think Beiring Sea and shark infested waters), to just go to the deep end and dive in.

And so I did.

Today Boss returned to the office which leaves me feeling a little like this:

I got here early.  Went to sleep late with a killer headache (but who really needs a head anyway when Boss is going to bite it off) and woke up early.  The headache was all tension.  The longer I laid in bed in a quiet room and with wandering mind, the worse it got.  Then I was nauseated.  I eventually fell asleep and woke up to a fussy crying child this morning.  I was nauseated this morning.  I managed to chill out by blasting music and singing loud during my drive to work.

I pulled up to the office about 30 seconds prior to Boss.

I still have my head and am hanging on to sanity here by a thin string.

But then again, it's still very early.

Criminal Minds

My new addiction is Criminal Minds.  It's my husband's fault.  "I know you'd love this show I found," he said. Yeah, I do.  A lot.  Too much.  I stay up too late watching episodes we record with the DVR.  We have found several times to catch the show on a couple different channels so we are rarely without episodes to watch.  And because we are new to the show, we have years of back episodes to watch.

Criminal Minds is a show about FBI criminal profilers.  They leave the FBI's B.A.U. (Behavioral Analysis Unit) in search of the latest big killer.  I love this show.  I love the characters.

I miss Huxley though.  Huxley is not pictures above.  "Huxley" is from Elmo in Grouchland.  That was my first introduction to him.  Turns out he actually has a name: Mandy Patinkin.  He left the show.  I don't know why. The replacement guy is just not the same.

I watch the episodes and every time I think it is so soooo good.  But then the next one is equally as good.  And it just keeps going.  I don't think I have seen a bad episode yet.

My recent beef with the show is that they are canning the women in the show?  Prentis and JJ are getting axed?  Sure, Garcia is staying (thank goodness!), but still.  BAD move by CBS.  Geesh.

The downside of watching Criminal Minds is that it is a show that does involve killers.  So there is blood and the occasional decapitated head happening.  The ones with kids are tough to take at first.  It makes me a little paranoid about safety.  Which is silly.  But still.

But really, I love the show.  And so I am reminded of my little FBI dreams and fantasies and reminded once again of a career path I didn't pursue.

Weekend Happenings

On Friday afternoon Princess Child finally mastered riding her tricycle.  Although given to her by Papa for her second birthday (which is exactly what she asked for), she was only recently tall enough to really keep both feet on the pedals and take off.  And so she has.  Now we can remove the push bar attached to it since she is quite the independent cyclist.

Friday was also picture day.  We went to Sears to have photos taken for her 3rd birthday invitation.  We got a few good shots.  The others were just okay.  Very unsure smiles.  She also looked tired.  But a couple is really all I needed and after ordering photos and then going elsewhere to design invitations, I completely hemorrhaged money over the weekend on all things photography.



This weekend was fairly productive.  Hubby and I painted the office/guest room.  We now have a Lakers shrine in place.

One gold wall and three purple.  And I have to admit, when it was all said and done, it looked really good.  I will have to take actual pictures to post.    Hubby has tons of Laker stuff not hung up but we hung the essentials and any more will look tacky.  I will pat myself on the back for a job well done.


I also managed to paint the outside trim around the garage door.  And I started putting up the trim/border around the planter area out front.  Unfortunately I am missing some of the trim in the garage somewhere so that job was left incomplete.  We also managed to go through boxes.  That was much needed and despite the large quantity of boxes and stuff in the garage, we did make progress.

Sallie Stats

Sallie is being a total bitch lately.  She called me 7 times on Saturday.  And a few times on Sunday.  It was Saturday that she was being a nag though.  Sorry Sallie, no money for you right now.  Sure I spent too much on photos.  But you and I both know that had I forked over that same amount to you, it would have only been a very small fraction of what you wanted and you would have probably called me 8 times on Sunday to tell me so.  Back off, Sallie.  

Trash Day

The highlight of my week is TRASH DAY!  Yes, once a year the garbage trucks will come and pick up most anything and everything you kick to the curb.

So the picture isn't actually accurate.  I don't love trash -- just trash day.  Purging it all is what is fun.

When we moved into our current rental the previous tenants left WAY too much trash behind.  I would never do that when moving from a place.  But they did.  And so we have A LOT to put at the curb.  Old screen doors, lots of boxes, some other large, bulky items left behind, including a large old chair on the side of the house.

I am admittedly over excited about this day.  I have been looking forward to it for months!

Getting my doggie door a few weeks ago was awfully exciting but in a different way.  Yes, this will make my week.  And barring a new job being offered to me, it will likely make my month(s) as well.

She's Incredible

I'm talking about my daughter.  She'll be 3 next month and is in the process of perfecting her drawings of happy faces.  Well, I should just say faces.  They are only recently starting to have a more happy looking curve to them.

But over the weekend we drew Foofa together.  I drew in the eyelashes.  And the nose (which her faces usually lack).

This week I am happy to report her faces now have noses, and eyelashes!  I walked out to the dining area the other day and looked on the dry-eraser board on the easel and low and behold: there is a happy face.  With a nose.  And the eyes have lashes.

Another sign which I am sure indicates sheer brilliance is her perfecting the leg pump while swinging.

She is obviously ready for her own swing set.  Don't let the drawing of the lashes fool you into thinking she is ready for mascara.  Not until she is 25.

In Need of New Job ASAP

I am desperate.  I need to find something before Boss gets back from vacation.  I have two applications/resumes out for positions.  And positions posted are hard to come by right now.  So fingers crossed.  One is a county job.  The post closed on Friday.  So now I wait.  Another job posted yesterday.  I sent that resume off last night.   So now I sit scouring the web for job leads and impatiently waiting for my phone to ring (or vibrate when at the office).  

Dear Universe: 

I am ready!  I have open arms and welcome new opportunities and change!  I will embrace it and run with it!  I will not let you down.  Please send something my way.  You know where to find me. 

Very truly yours, 

DBH

Feel My Wrath

A few weeks ago I had a sit down with Boss to discuss a raise.

A week ago I was told I would not get a response before he left for a 3 week vacation.

On Friday he changed his mind and had made a decision.

He told me his decision around 6:00 p.m., just prior to leaving, just after all the wrap-up needed for him to depart the office for 3+ weeks.

And he did it because he is cowardly and didn't want to feel my wrath as a result of his decision.

Now, I expected to be screwed over.  I did.  I expect it.  I did not expect to get what I was asking for.  But NOTHING?!  Are you f*&##^!g kidding me?!

Wow.

And the worst part about it is that most people don't know what kind of person he is.  He is outwardly kind.  People think I have the ideal job.  What they don't know is the behind the scene stuff.  They don't know about being forced into taking vacation time.  They don't know about non-paid overtime despite overtime laws.  They have no idea what a jerkhole employer he is. No clue.

But I was still absolutely shocked that he turned down my raise.  And did so under the guise of the economy, etc.  At least tell me it is because of my performance.  At least give me some sort of believable excuse.  Because using the economy as an excuse is simply not legitimate.  I do the books.  I looked at the P&L for the last 3 years prior to hitting him up for a raise.

I evaluated the situation, made a strong argument and presentation and I was not being greedy or unreasonable.

But the economy?  Really?  Please.  At least offer up a different lie because I have proof the economy doesn't cut it as an excuse on this one.  What B.S.

Like I said, he is lucky to leave town and not face me for the next few weeks.   And I hope, hope, hope I find something new and can give notice the day he gets back.

Road Trip

Yesterday afternoon we returned from a weekend with my in-laws.  We went down south for my nephew's baptism.  Catholic baptism.  I am not the godmother to this nephew.  I am very fortunate to have made the cut for the last nephew born because the church no longer accepts sinner's like myself to act as godparent.  After all, I am not Catholic.  I was not married in the church, etc., etc.  But my husband was able to be god father this time around which made him very happy (as a couple we were unable to baptize my last nephew together as a couple because we were not married in the church).  So Sunday we went to the church and my adorable little nephew was baptized.  The Original Sin has now been washed away and he is a clean, holy child.  Um, yeah.  I  totally don't get that about Catholicism, or any other religion for that matter.  You are telling me that this beautiful 8 week old child is a sinner right now?  Mmmkay.  If you say so.  (Insert eye roll here.)

Saturday when we got to town we headed to the mall to tux shop because my father-in-law is getting married.  Princess child and I grabbed a little racer cart and took off to check out the mall.  We met up with the boys later.    The nice thing about being in a large city was SHOPPING.  Whew -- actual stores again.  We stopped off at the party supply warehouse so I could grab necessities for princess child's birthday.  That was fun.  We went back to my father-in-law's house afterwards and my baby went into a pool for the first time.  Very cute.  Very fun watching her do that.  We barbecued and hung out and the cousins played.

Sunday was the baptism.  A big BBQ followed that evening.  And everyone gathered to watch game 4 of the Finals expected the Lakers to win.  Um, hello -- no one but Kobe even showed up.   Hope they win it tonight.  They have to or game over.

Back at work today.  Boss is out.  Smart man.  If he was here he'd have to deal with my wrath.

Sallie Stats

The bitch would not leave me alone this weekend.  Called quite a bit.  Did she not realize I was busy 

with family?  I should have put her on the phone with a priest or deacon.  

Maybe that would have served as a Get Out Of Jail Free card for the day. 

Well, we are back to Monday as she was kind enough to start my week out by calling.  

It wasn't until 8:24 a.m. -- which is a little late for Sallie. I was expecting her between 8:01 and 8:03 a.m.

She almost had me worried.

4 Days and Counting

We have had FOUR days now where my little girl wore panties all day!  This is awesome!  Still in diapers at night.  Too much leche and I am tired of washing sheets.

Well, 4 days is major progress.  No diapers, no pull ups.  Woooohooo!


And speaking of the behavior of a child, my husband is not cooperating in keeping my house clean. This is beyond frustrating.  I have made an extra effort to get it as clean as it has been and I'd like help keeping it that way.  I can clean up after myself.  I can deal with cleaning up after my toddler.  But my toddler, dog and husband -- um, no.  Unacceptable.   Help me.  I am exhausted.  He isn't working this summer.  Assistance por favor! 

Sallie Stats

Well, she hasn't been too annoying lately.  They have been sending me e-mail alerts. 

I suppose I should log onto the website to see what they have to say. 

Eh, maybe tomorrow.

Pink Foofa Fun

Meet Foofa.  In case you don't know her, she is one of the Yo Gabba Gabba characters. 

My daughter had a fire engine themed party last year.  My little beautiful 2 year old was all into FIRE TRUCKS (well it was that or Garbage Trucks -- can you imagine?!).  And I have to admit, it was a fun party to put together.  Awesome decorations (and a choice of different collections of decorations), really fun invites, etc.   This year I asked her many, many times about the kind of birthday she wanted.  And then I asked her more hoping she would change her mind.  But no, she wants a Pink Foofa party.  

I went on the party supply websites and showed her everything.  I pointed out Shrek, Tinkerbell (which for a minute or two she did want), princesses, etc.  And then I showed her the Yo Gabba Gabba supplies.  Nope.  She pointed to Foofa and said "only that one."   Ummkay.  No problem.  Mommy will have to make supplies instead.   Which isn't altogether bad considering that the Gabba characters look like.

 Brobee is the green guy.  I noticed in the ads and on the website Brobee has a smile.  Here he does too.   In the show, he doesn't.  It is always the sad face/frown.  This is not an animated show.  They are large costumes.  And so Brobee always has that frown face.  Not cute.  Toodee is the blue one.  She is has the most annoying smokers-like voice ever.   And Muno.  The red guy.  Well, I joke with my husband that he looks like a herpes infested/infected dildo.  Yeah -- I did.  Now with that said, it isn't a bad show.  I actually think it has been helpful in teaching my daughter different lessons and manners, etc.  We sing the music.  We reference the cartoon a lot.  Like with food, "Try it... you'll like it!"   Etc., etc.  Thank goodness Aubriana is loving everything pink right now, which includes Foofa. 


She wants pink cake and pink icecream.  Pink, pink, pink.  Today I reserved the bounce house.  Last year she had the primary colored castle.  This year I was able to get the pinnk and purple castle.

Now I have to figure out plates, etc.  Foofa decor?  Yeah -- handmade.  I see handmade goodie bags, etc. in my future. 

But hey, anything for my little girl.  Bring it on, Foofa!  I'm coming to getcha! 

Just Turn It Off

I've clearly been watching too much TV.  Well, actually, I am quite busy.  It's not that I watch so much TV.  Perhaps I am just too into the programs I do watch.  Whatever the case, I had three dreams last night --  two of which the causation must be the TV.  

I had a friend get married, a friend murdered and Alex from Housewives of New York was in town.  By the way, I refuse to call the show The "Real" Housewives... because they simply are not very real at all.  Yes, I watch anyway.

One of my dreams involved Alex from Housewives visiting in town.  She pulled up in a large van with baby/kid stuff on top.  A lot of it.  She was basically Kate Gosselin, but not.  People gathered around her.  A bunch of town women.  She really wanted someone to babysit her kids because she really wanted to go out and do something with her husband.  She was going to pick a stranger.  Ok, it is not an exciting dream whatsoever.

Another one was my good friend getting married.  She already is married in real life.  But in my dream she was going to have her wedding via a radio show that was marrying a bunch of people in one day.  It was going to be at a dive motel.  She insisted she wanted to despite my insistence that it wasn't necessarily the best idea.  Well, behind this dive hotel was this massive green, beautiful park-like spot with a lake in the far distance.  She was the last one to get married and it was beautiful.  I don't know who she married.  I just remember what she looked like and what the park area looked like.  She was wearing a light yellow/ivory, flowing dress.  Wedding like, but not.  Very angelic and soft and beautiful.    I know, this was not very exciting either.

The last dream was a friend (and I use the term loosely), being murdered.  Nice, huh?  This dream I blame on watching too much Criminal Minds.  Husband recently discovered the show and insisted I would like it.  Well, I do.  So now we watch the re-runs on A&E every Friday and Saturday night.  So the murder was along the lines of a Criminal Minds episode.  It was horrible.  This friend recently separated from her husband and met someone new.  And had him move in.  Without meeting first.   So perhaps the combo of Criminal Minds and the fact that she just had a stranger move in with her merged into this warped dream.  Well, let's just hope that dream does re-occur, shall we.

When my princess child joined me in bed this morning at 5:00 a.m., I couldn't fall back to sleep.  It's probably a good thing.  Who knows where my mind/dreams would have gone next.

Would Have Been

This morning was actually easy with my kid.  She didn't nap yesterday so she fell asleep by 8:30p.m.  Without a struggle.  She likes the kids of Jon & Kate + 8 (now just Kate +8).  We watched and she fell asleep.  And then she slept ALL night in her bed.  Didn't even join me in the early morning hours.  Slept just past 7:00 a.m.

And it gets even better!

She woke up pleasant!!  She was happy, only got snippy a couple times for brief moments, got dressed by herself and got her shoes by herself.  And I didn't have to do her hair.  Albeit a little crazy looking, I was able to comb out and braid her gorgeous long curly locks last night after she fell asleep in my arms.  Hence, no tangles.  No struggle.  And we left the house happy.  Whew!  That, my friends, is progress.  My days would be significantly easier if the mornings started that way.  However, I know this was probably a random occurrence.  One that will likely not happen again for quite sometime.  And so I shall savor it for today and be happy.

My ME time yesterday was nice.  Could have been better if I didn't spend all those hours helping Husband with his work.  He is a teacher.  School is nearly done.  And so grading deadlines were this morning.  And, as usual, he was ridiculously behind.  And, as usual, I caved and helped him out.  It was ridiculous.  A lot of papers, nothing organized, nothing graded and nothing entered in the grade book.  I did 5 of his 6 classes.  He woke up this morning around 2:00 a.m. and graded through the night.  I think the only time he is truly productive is if he wakes up at such asinine hours and works like that.  I would rather stay up late and sleep longer.  But whatever.  Took him all night and he was still entering grades into the computer when I left for work, but he will finish.

Hopefully next quarter/semester/year it can be done without my assistance.  And maybe someday I can again have a ME day that is 100% a ME day.  I have my own school work to do.  I am a still a student with homework.  Or maybe I would have just vegged out in front of the TV with a blanket.  Whatever.  Would have been nice.  Yeah, would have been.

Sallie Stats

Sallie only called 5 times all weekend.  5 times is pretty darn good.  But I know to turn the volume off on my cell phone on the weekends.  I know they will be my 8am wake-up call if I don't.

Like a Kid In a Candy a Store

I'm practically giddy.  Why?  I am alone in my house.  And it's clean!!!  Sure, I am sure there is something I could be cleaning, but really, it's quite clean.  And I am ALONE.  Husband is gone for a work thing.  Kid is at grandma's house. 

I have the entire house to myself.

ME time. 

It's wonderful!!!!   Or as my daughter would say -- FANTASTIC! 


Not even Sallie can spoil my blissful afternoon. 

It's all mine!!!  Woohoo!

Pink Cake, Salad & Bananas = Fabulous!

"I'm going to have pink cake, salad and bananas.  It is going to be fabulous!"  

My daughter telling Grandma about her 3rd birthday party we are planning for July.


This morning I told her how her auntie is coming to town tomorrow.  She got a serious face and told be she needed to tell auntie she's sorry.  Sorry for what?  "For peeing in my jammies."  (Auntie got her purple whale jammies.)    Too cute.  Of course I told her that it was no problem and that I washed them and they are as good as new.

Sallie Stats

She only called twice yesterday!  I was almost lonely.

You Can't Fool Me.

You think I don't see you, Sallie?  I see you.  You can't fool me into thinking you are someone else by calling me with a new prefix.  No, I was on to you right away.  I could smell you coming.  Sure, you didn't approach me with your usual "360" or "765" number.  But I knew.  You can try to disguise yourself all you want, but I knew "570" was you the moment I saw it.

And thanks for the 5 calls yesterday.  And the voice mail.  You always know how to make a girl feel special.

Sallie Mae: A Love Story

Sallie and I have a pretty long history now.  She entered my life in 2000, but it wasn't until 2004 that she really and I really became well acquainted.  I have logged some of our Love Story through another blog I kept for years.  I just wanted to share some of this story with you and re-post it for myself so I have a comprehensive memory book.  Let's start off with some of my posts from 2008.  This is not at all comprehensive, but it gives a pretty good picture of what my day-to-day life is and Sallie's presence in it.  

Warning: Contains Profanity.  

2008-02-07 1:26 PM Die Sallie Mae, Die. I just wanted to share my stats. I can count how many times the old hag calls me because my only phone number is my cell phone, which means it keeps the call log for a period of time. Keep this in mind -- it does not record any calls I missed when I have no reception, which is pretty much 8:30 -5:00pm Monday through Friday because I have no reception at my office. So my records are JUST of the calls recorded on my phone, surely less than the amount actually made to me. That bitch, Sallie, calls between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. 7 days per week. I think the only time she doesn't call is on Thanksgiving and Christmas. And New Years (although I can't imagine the bitch having much for friends or family to spend her time with). I looked through my phone yesterday to jot down the calls she has made to me. Sallie and her imcompetent little trolls that call me. Oh -- and the calls I actually accepted from them only logged back to January 17th. And I do take their calls (unless I just spoke to them in which case I will ignore the calls for a few days). Are you ready for this? My tally of calls for one month (January 7 - February 6), is . . . . . . . . 55. 55 times! That I have record of as of yesterday. Again, this does not include any missed calls between the hours of 8:30-5 M-F because my phone has no reception. And it does NOT include the times I actually accepted their calls from Jan 7 - Jan 16 because enough calls have come in that it bumped those dates. 55 times?! The most they called in one day in the past month (that I have record of) is 6 times. I think the record (that I had record of) was 8 times. Oh, and for the record, they called 3 times this morning on my way to work (that is about a 35 minute time span). I spoke with them twice yesterday. I even called them. Is this not harassment? Dear Sallie Mae, Die and go to hell you piece of shit bitch. Yours forever, Me

2008-02-07 8:25 PM Did I Say Only 55? Oh, silly me. When I calculated calls it was yesterday during my lunch so I didn't include ALL of yesterday's calls. My record of calls from Sallie Mae from 1/7 - 2/6 = 58. 2008-02-07 9:14 PM It Gets Even Better... I am OBVIOUSLY loved and adored by Sallie. Why you ask??? Well, today is a brand new day and I have a new tally of calls. Now, 2 entries ago I mentioned the record of calls in one day was 8 (that I had record of). Well, it is ONLY 8:27 p.m. and today I received 8 calls! And there is still 33 minutes left of calling time! My morning greeting came at 8:04 a.m. Then 8:10 a.m. Then 5:28 p.m. Then 5:38 p.m. Then 7:21 p.m. Then 7:32 p.m. Then 7:43 p.m. Then 8:19 p.m. Only 15 mins left of call time. I am feeling kind of lonely right now because they haven't called for almost a half hour. And gosh, I haven't spoken to them for almost 24 hours. ~~~~ Oki, it is 9:07 p.m. No more calls for Sallie Mae. Darn. I was going to pick up that 9th call, too! So..... now let's do this properly: 1/7 - 2/7 = 66 calls. And tomorrow we get to start a whole new tally. 2008-02-07 9:28 PM So, The Explanation Here is my relationship with Sallie Mae. We clearly have communication issues and need to seek couples therapy... or something. *** Caution, swearing involved. If this offends, stop here. But I make no apologies for it in this entry.**** I have paid off and on forever. I started law school in 2000 and was out for good in 2003 -- which is when the calls commenced. I have paid a small fortune in "forebearance fees" ($50 per loan). They really started pissing me off when they would conveniently "lose" my money. Oh yes. They lost it. Misapplied it. I don't know. This happened NUMEROUS times. So they put me in forbearance and tell me they are going to read the "contract" and I need to say "yes" at the end. I am not to interrupt their contract. Um, ok. So I jot down the notes, when they tell me my forbearance time is up, and go about my business. Until a week later when Sallie starts calling me 6+ times a day. Why? I deferred everything. Well, rep number 759830920 was mistaken. No forbearance allowed. I tell them I have a contract with them. I call back and talk to another rep, and another. I tell them what they told me and told them there is record of it. Now they accuse ME of illegally recording the conversation! Um NO, Sallie Mae says, during their contract, that it is being recorded! THEY record it. Moron number 56 now feels defensive and is an ass because I pointed out that he is an idiot. Rinse and repeat. So, they call and I get the messages that they will "work with me" and that there are "options" if I can't pay. Well guess what? There aren't. I have 5 loans with Sallie Mae incurred for law school totalling approximately $122,000. (And that is not my total student loan debt, mind you. I have another $20k+ from another lender. I call that one my "Mafia Loan".) So -- the latest relationship quarrel Sallie and I have had is over an in-school deferment. Ok -- cat of the bag. I wasn't going to tell. BUT, I have one again re-enrolled through a correspondence school to finish my damn law degree. So they tell me to fill out the in-school deferment papers. I need an extra enrollment certification because the school is not on the clearing house list. Ok. Done. So I fax Sallie the papers on January 16th. They keep calling. I tell them I sent the papers. They say ok, they will process, etc. Well, then Sallie Troll 2897934823 tells me on 1/26 that my papers weren't received. Only the fax coversheet. Not the enrollment certification. Well, I tell him that I have a confirmation sheet saying it was, in fact, received. So fuck-o puts me on hold for half a century and comes back and says, oh, yeah. We have received them. But the formal request hasn't been submitted. I will do that tonight. Of course, this would have been processed already if the trolls had more than 2 brain cells. Soooooo.... I keep getting calls. I ignore them knowing my deferment is processing. On 1/29 i get a call from Larita. She tells me that I owe money, it is dangerously late -- will go to the credit bureaus, etc. I explain the whole thing AGAIN, for AT LEAST the 7th or 8th time. She says, oh, I see your papers here, but a formal request has not been submitted! WHAT?! I explain I spoke with the troll on 1/26 who supposedly submitted said request. Well, troll fucked up. This is Sallie Mae. I don't know why I would expect things to get done properly. So -- Larita says to call her back on Tuesday (2/5) and follow-up with her because she is a higher-up. Ok. So 2/5 goes by and I forget to call Larita. But I answer the phone that night when they call and speak with troll 3345723495867345 who tells me I have no deferment available to me. On ANY of my loans. WTF?! Ok, so Wednesday, 2/6, I call Larita who seemed competent. Unfortunately, I speak with Chris, because Larita is out because a family member had a baby (I don't know why Mr. Chris tells me all this). Chris tells me that 2 of my loans ARE eligible for deferment. The small loans. However, the big fucking ugly monsterous loans that have doubled with interest are NOT eligible. Why? I have an "unusual loan". Oh really. Yes. "Uncommon" he tells me. Just my luck, right? Well, apparently in-school deferment is only available up to 4 years after the disbursement. Fine. So there is NOTHING I can do about them. I do NOT want those recorded messages telling me they can "help" me with my loans. Because they can't. And they can't reduce payments because I am already set up for interest-only payments. So they call. And call. And call. Mommy bailed me out (because unfortunately she co-signed and her credit will take a hit) and made a payment the other night. No -- it is not the entire amount, but it was the late amount. Sallie Mae still calls. 8 times today. For kicks? So you see, my hatred for Sallie Mae does not stem from the fact that there is a debt I am not happy with and can't pay. No. The hatred stems from Sallie's incompetence and the incomptence of her trolls. I have been through this sooooooo many times. Countless. I think it is a trap. I am completely serious. I think it is a fraud mechanism for borrowers to incur more fees. They mess up. More time passes. The more urgent your need to pay becomes. But you thought it was taken care of. And it would have been but for troll xyz fucking up the process for the umteenth time. So you are backed into a corner. Fast. pay today! Or else! I had this one bitch threaten to call the credit bureau herself to report me because I would not pay at that moment (while driving on the freeway on my way home from work...pregnant, too). I told her I would call when I got home. And she got nuts. I was DRIVING for christ's sake! Anyway. So that time (and others) I am backed into a corner. Fast, pay $50 per loan ($150 that were in trouble) because I couldn't come up with $300 right that second. And that brings the loans current. So -- I have to pay $150 non-refundable forbearance fees so they can stop calling me until the next payment is due (oh -- which happens to be 4 days from then!). THIS is what I deal with when it comes to Sallie Mae. I have dealth with rude threatening people. And no one does anything about it. And no one identifies themselves except by a first name. And they all call from different call centers so if you complaint to Troll 3 that Troll 2 just threatened you, no one knows who Troll2 is. So tough. So I just have to take it. So THAT is why I HATE HATE HATE Sallie Mae. I think their behavior and collection tactics are criminal. I think it is a scam to get you pay/incur MORE fees. You know, because $10,000 interest on a $12,000 loan just isn't good enough. FUCK YOU SALLIE MAE.  2008-02-13 9:27 AM Dirty Laundry Ladies & Gentlemen: they broke a record! Yes, you heard me right. Sallie Mae broke their "8-call" calling record. Yesterday they called 9 times. Feb 12 8:03 a.m. 9:40 a.m. 9:45 a.m. 12:47 p.m. 3:47 p.m. 5:03 p.m. 7: 21 p.m. 8:21 p.m. 8:49 p.m. No. I did not pick up a single call. Why bother? It wouldn't change the amount of calls if I didn't make a payment. Current amount due: $1,404.10 (includes my most recent $14.95 late fee). Past due amount: $891.17. Monthly payment amount: $701.41 (Haaaaaaaaaa! And this is with two of my subsidized loans in forbearance! And it does not include my mafia loan from AES.) Original principal balance on loan: $103,071.62 Capitalized interest: $25,078.71 Total Amount outstanding (with Sallie Mae): $122,472.25  2008-02-15 8:39 AM My Valentine's Day with Sallie Mae Me: Hello SM: Hi, is DBH there? Me: This is DBH. SM: This is Troll XYZ from SM. Me: (interrupting) Are you calling to wish me a happy valentine's day? SM: (small laugh) For security purposes... Me: (cutting off Troll) Well, you have called a lot today so I can only assume it is to wish me a happy Valentine's Day. No? SM: (Smaller Laugh) For security purposes can you please verify your address and telephone number. Me: (I tell them my address). And telephone number? Obviously you know what one since you just called. SM: Silence Me: ok, (I tell him my phone number). SM: You have a past due balance of ($1,300+), how would you like to take care of that this evening. Me: I wouldn't. And the conversation continued. They again, suggested that I do a forbearance on the two small loans to bring them current to March 7. So i explained to them what they were suggesting because they are clearly idiots. Me: So you want me to pay $100 in forberance fees so I can avoid paying $127 until March 7??? So instead of $100 towards my loan amount, you want me to pay you $100 and nothing on my loan? And I would be saving $27 until March 7. Does that sound like a good idea to you. SM: Oh, no. That wouldn't be the best idea, would it. Me: I think not. SM: Well, let me see if there is anything else I can do to help you out. Me: There is NOTHING you can do. I talk to you guys several times a week. There is nothing left to do. I will not be making a payment tonight. I owe you $122,000 and my W-2 for 2007 said I made $_________ (read PATHETIC here). That is not the kind of money that will go towards payments on a loan. SM: Can you post-date a check for the $127? Me: What good would that do, the calls would still come in. SM: The calls would stop on those loans. Me: Yes, but they would continue because of my monster loan, correct? SM: silence Me: I won't be paying anything tonight. But thanks for calling. 2008-02-19 8:56 PM F*#!ing Pieces of S^%@! Any guesses who I am referring to? Anyone? Anyone? YOU GUESSED IT! Sallie Mae! Oh, they have nerve. I had a run in with the biggest prick ever. But let's lay the foundation first, shall we. Call Log Tuesday, February 19, 2008 8:01 a.m. (Ignored -- gotta love that 8:01 call!) 6:58 p.m. (Answered. Tell them no payment tonight. Will get paid on the first and call and make payment then. She lets me off the phone rather quickly.) 7:06 p.m. (Answered. Tell them I already spoke to a rep. Did I take care of it. No. Can't do. Won't post date a check. Mr. Brilliant thinks he can look into it and see what my "options" are. I tell him I have none. He says some reps are wrong etc. I tell him I am 100% sure and that I need to feed my daughter. let's not waste each other's time. He turns into jerk ass and says "fine. The calls will continue." Um, whatever. Buh bye.) 7:14 p.m. (Ignored -- feeding baby) 7:59 p.m. (Ignored) 8:30 p.m. (Missed -- putting baby to sleep) 8:40 p.m. (Missed -- putting baby to sleep) 8:51 p.m. (Answered) -- Mr. Fucking Piece of Shit (although he claims his name is Michael). But we will just refer to him as FPS, ok? Me: Hello FPS: Is this DBH? Me: Yes. (with attitude) FPS: This is Michael from Sallie Mae. Me: This is the 7th or 8th time (8th!) time you guys have called and you are the third person I have talked to tonight. I can't make a payment. I have no options. FPS: Well I see here that you told us you would pay before the end of the month. Me: No. I said I get paid on the first of the month, I will get paid and assess my situation and I will call and make some sort of payment then. FPS: Well, let's conference in your co-signer to see if they can help you out. (Co-signer is mom -- duh) Me: Excuse me? No. (Oh, yes. I have raised my voice now.) The co-signer is my mother and she cannot help me out. FPS: Well then how would you like to take care of this tonight? Me: I wouldn't. FPS: Well then I will just conference in your co-signer. This is where FPS cuts me off and I hear clicking and hold music. So I am totally waiting for my mom to come on the line. And then we disconnect. So I call my mom and see if FPS just called her. No, they didn't. That guy was TOTALLY BSing me! And actually, now that I think about it, they can't threaten something they won't do. And, he didn't even go through the "security" measures to ensure I was DBH. No address. No SSN. Nothing. Huh.

On Top of the Situation

Yesterday I spent ALL day cleaning the master bedroom.  I did it while watching the marathon of Hoarders on A&E.  If watching that show doesn't inspire one to clean, nothing will!

You see, in my house, laundry is a Situation.  A big one.  Laundry gets clean and then sits in the baskets until everything is picked out and worn, and then the cycle repeats itself.  We have far more clothes out of dressers and closets than we actually have in them.  It's a problem.  And it manifests itself in the master bedroom.  And so I decided to conquer the Situation.  Turns out we have a large bedroom.  And a lot of carpet.  Yep.  I still have a ton of laundry to do.  And I vow to put it away when it is done.  That is a project that will follow me throughout the week. But then I just need to stay on top of it.

I was trying to think back to when laundry became such a Situation.  I used to be a huge neat freak.  More than neat.  CLEAN freak as well.  In high school, I was obsessed with having everything clean and neat in my room.  My apartments were always very clean and neat.  And then somewhere along the way I lost that.  The second house we lived in here is when things hit the fan.  In large part it was laziness.  We lived in a two story house and the washer and dryer were downstairs in the garage.  Not so convenient.  The other part of it is my husband.  He is NOT helpful at all.  And when my efforts to clean start getting trashed, I kind of give up and let it go.  I get angry and tired of it.  I am not his housekeeper.  Sure, I would be a little more lenient if I stayed at home taking care of the kid and house instead of work, but that is not the case.  I work just as hard, I have a full time job, and I am not the sole keeper of the territory.  So I am working on that.  Clean and neat feels SO much better.  I just need husband and daughter to jump on board that train, ya know?

On Saturday I took my little beast to the zoo and to the park.  She wanted to see the Tiger.  When we got there, her greatest joy was seeing the Flamingos.  Hey, they're pink.  She is quite enjoying pink lately.  After a very quick trip to the zoo since it was undergoing construction and therefore even smaller than usual, we walked through the park and played on the jungle gym.  She stayed on the swings for quite a while.  What I would give to be in her spot.  On that swing (the "baby swing" nice and secure), wind through my hair and sun on my face . . .   She looked so happy and relaxed.

After a tantrum upon realizing we were getting in the car to leave, we headed home for a much needed nap. 

Sallie Stats

The phone has been strangely quiet this weekend.  I guess Memorial Day is the one holiday Sallie and her trolls observe.  She did call a few times on Saturday, a couple of times while I was at the zoo.  But all in all, my phone was strangely quiet.  I could get used to that. 

I Wouldn't Call Her Cooperative, but...

There was no tantrum this morning!  I cannot tell you what a relief it was to not have the tears and the screaming and the other lovely expressiveness only a 2 approaching 3 year old can provide.  Like I said, she wasn't exactly cooperative, but this morning was a much needed break from the insanity my mornings have been the past week or so. 

I foolishly decided to "host" a catalog party for Pampered Chef.  Yes, I succumbed to the pressure of a friend's sister, a new consultant for PC, and I agreed to host a party.  But let's be honest here, I don't even want to be invited to such parties because in this economy, who wants to fork out money for products we won't absolutely need or necessarily even want all that much?  Not me.  So when I put together my evite list, I chose carefully.  Which means essentially that there weren't many friends on my list because the majority of my friends are financially feeling the pain as much, if not much more, than I am.  Unfortunately, the sure things didn't even pan out.  Like Grandma.  Sure Grandma has everything.  She's 80+ years old and birthed 6 children.  Of course her kitchen is well stocked.  But come on, not even a pity order of some cool kitchen product for your first born grandchild?  Bummer.  But, of course, Mom pulled through for me.  And a small handfull of others.  So what does this do for me?  Well, really it just has me purchasing more of the Pampered Chef products!  Uh huh.  That was smart.  Brilliant move on my part.  NOT.  So I will have a small credit, a couple of 50% off items to purchase, and small discount on anything else.  Well, I will use my credit and probably choose a couple of items at half-off.  But then that is it.  I do like their products.  And my kitchen is not at all stocked.  But now is not the time.  I've got bills, folks.  I've got Sallie breathing down my neck, and I have a 3 year old's birthday bash to throw in July.  Sure it is mostly just family.  I don't need to impress, right?  Ha.  No, no.  Not the case.  Family that has not yet seen our current rental that we have been in since August of 2009.  A rental that needs work.  A garage that is still stuffed with boxes.  Oh, yes.  I also succumb to the self inflicted pressure to have my house impressive and aesthetically pleasing to others. 

I had the sit down with Boss yesterday.  It was ok.  I gave one heck of a sales pitch.  We'll see what happens from there.  I was told the answer wasn't yes, and it wasn't no.  And that he won't put me off forever, but not to expect an answer within a week.  Uh, ok.  Oh, and yes, he threw out the old excuse about the poor economy.  Yep, the poor economy that totally hasn't affected business.   I expected that though.  I haven't  had a raise since 1/1/08.  It's WAY past due.  We shall see what happens.  It's the nature of my job that I would get a raise. It better happen.

Sallie Stats

Been calling a lot.  I know I am past due.  Can't get blood from turnip.  I got a bonus a few weeks ago and I made a substantial payment.  I have 3 groups of loans with them.  I do the best I can.  That's all I can do.   They called 6 times yesterday.  4 times so far today and it's not even noon. 

Into the Lion's Den

I am hitting my boss up for a raise this afternoon.  We have a meeting at 4:30pm.

My stomach is starting to do somersaults.

Sallie Stats

Four calls so far today.  They are obviously eager to speak with me.  As usual.  I would say the past few days have averaged 5-6 calls per day.  Pretty mild for Sallie.